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Dear Mama,
What if I told you Black mamas aren’t superheroes, that the cape is choking us, and our backs are brittle? What if I told you motherhood ain’t killing us, though, but the narratives we buy into hook, line, and sinker are? What if you had the option not to be the primary custodial parent? Would you decline out of obligation to the belief that a good Black mama would never choose to leave their children in the care of others, even the other parent? How does a Black mother respond when what’s best for her or her destiny clashes with cultural norms?
In this Mother’s Day episode, we speak with Erica Michelle Freeman of Sisters In Loss Podcast about the complexities and challenges of non-custodial parenting and Black motherhood. When Erica and her husband decided to divorce, they also agreed to shared custody. Each parent would have primary custody for 3 years of their son Maxwell who was diagnosed with spastic quadriplegic cerebral palsy 10 years ago.
We dive into:
- Confronting societal norms and cultural stigmas
- Navigating health and care decisions for children with special needs as a noncustodial parent
- Historical trauma and Black motherhood
- Renegotiating Black motherhood
PLUS – Crystal and perimenopause are NOT friends, especially under the current administration, and Thea is in search of Jill Stein. In our Black Mama Say segment for this episode, where we put our twist on sayings from Black mamas, and the saying we’re twisting this episode is “Oh, you got time for dat.”
SYLLABUS
To expand knowledge and combat misinformation and disinformation, we create a list of references/sources for our listeners to dive into. This list includes any books, videos, podcasts, etc. that we’ve mentioned in the episode or that will help you gain a well-informed perspective. ENJOY!
About Erica M. Freeman
Erica M. Freeman is the Founder and CEO of Sisters in Loss, a Maternal Child Health company that helps Black women replace silence with storytelling around
pregnancy and infant loss and infertility.
She is a savvy, creative engineer, known for her results-based, no-fluff approach as a podcaster, grief educator, and motivational speaker. Sisters in Loss provides pregnancy, birth, postpartum, bereavement doula, and grief services to help women step beyond anxiety and fear and into trust and peace after loss. It’s self-titled, award-winning podcast spotlights resilient Black mothers who share intimate details of their journey to motherhood through painful, but inspirational loss and infertility stories. Sisters in Loss has been featured in Forbes, BBC News, Black Enterprise, Women’s Health, The Today Show, NBC Nightly News, and The White House.
Erica is a member of the MOMMAs Voices Council of the Preeclampsia Foundation and a partner with Black Mamas Matter Alliance. She is a Certified Full-Spectrum Doula, Birth Worker Educator, and Mentor, Mom to 2 babies in heaven and one rainbow baby, Maxwell, also known as Super Mighty Max.
Erica is an alumna of Bastyr University with an M.A. in Maternal Child Health Systems and an alumna of Virginia Commonwealth University with a B.S. in Chemical Engineering.
Connect with Erica M. Freeman: Instagram | Website
Connect with Sisters In Loss: Instagram | Website
Church Announcements:
- Responsive Reading
- Our word from the Ancestors this episode comes from Chapter 8 of Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison: “Wanna fly, you got to give up the shit that weighs you down.”
- Black Mama Magic Card Deck: Card #8 “Share Your Inspiration”
- Crystal
- Black Mama Creative Week June 24th – June 30th
- Episode Playlist
- Thea
Mac & Cheese:
Here’s what we got into in this episode:
- Videos:
Episodes mentions/relevant to this episode:
- DBM Ep 56: Menopause, Black Women & Spiritual Ritual with Omisade Burney Scott
- DBM Ep 33: Haitian American Mama w/ Stepha LaFond
Black Mama Say: “Oh, you got time for dat.”
Connect with Dem Black Mamas: YouTube | Email List | Patreon | Blusky
🗣️Engage: This is a conversation. Speak back to us! Share your thoughts about the episode using the hashtag #DemBlackMamas, DM us or email us at [email protected].